The Fly

I was sitting at the bar the other day when a fly proceeded to aggravate me to no end. It was one of those flies that no matter what you said or what names you called it, It just kept landing on my swatter arm. Every time he landed I flinched and said something like “you Mother”. It would just fly off and come back in about 7 or 8 seconds.
Well there came a time when he made the mistake of landing on my free arm like a 747 coming in loaded. I reached back with my official “Ronko”swatter and proceeded with a forearm swing to immobilize him between the swatter and my arm.  He did a back flip and landed feet up on the bar. As is my custom I took another cheap shot just to be sure we would not be dealing with him again.  Then the fun began….
In no time at all two other flies landed on either side of the murder victim. These two flies looked vaguely familiar. One had a brush cut and was obviously a cop. The other kinda resembled Colombo. They stood next to the victim a few minutes and then one of them reached into his coat pocket and came out with a real small tape measure and the smallest piece of chalk I have ever seen.  They chalked an outline of that dead fly right on top of the bar. They then made exacting measurements from 2 beer glasses to triangulate the location of the decedent.
While leaning down to get a better look at the action I realized that the two cops were talking to each other about this. I cocked my ear in their direction and heard them having a discussion to the effect that they had never seen such a gruesome crime scene. The cop that looked like a Marine was almost getting sick from viewing the damage to this formerly annoying fly. The Colombo look alike was just kind of scrunching down at different angles and writing on his little pad. A couple of time he just flew up to the ceiling and did a kind of free fall to the bar as if to simulate such injuries. The other fly cop was by this time dodging to and fro so that his uniform would not get dirty if in fact Colombo was successful.
By this time the Coroner and forensic guys had arrived and they took all the measurements again. They identified the body as that of one of the “Annoying” family   and picked up their real small cell phone and called for a meatwagon to take him away. Colombo was still muttering to himself that he could not figure out what could have done so much damage to one of his fellow flies. It wasn’t too long before a few more pretty big fly guys came along and loaded the carcass onto a litter and flew away with it.

I just sat there drinking my beer and hiding that swatter on my lap……